They wish .....

The 9 worst things in MEN!

1.MEN LOOK CUTE RIGHT WHEN THEY WAKE UP
This is completely unfair. When a guy wakes up, his hair’s a little messy and he has that slight stubble that the models always have. Women, on the other hand, look like hell. Once, after a really great date, we woke to find a false eyelash sticking out of my nose. Best to wake up first, run into the bathroom, apply makeup, reshave all body parts, and put hot rollers in your hair. Then sneak back into bed and pretend to wake up when he does, at which point you laugh girlishly, being very careful not to get lipstick on your teeth.

2.SMALL PENISES
I’ve heard there are women who like penises small. I’ve never met a woman who does. Let’s be honest: The reason we have sex with men is because of the penis. No woman is going to prefer one she’s not even sure is there. And polite sexual etiquette does not allow you to ask, “Is that your penis, or were you eating a pickle spear in bed?”

3.LARGE PENISES
Men with large penises think they can get away with anything. Not calling. Dating other women. Burping in public. Expecting you to do their laundry. Forgetting to buy you a Groundhog Day present. They just think they’re God’s gift to women. Unfortunately, they are.

4.MEN SUDDENLY BECOME SEX-STARVED
This is a time when men can really be pigs. They tell you you’re sexy and you know they’re just lying to get you into bed. I mean, how could anyone in sweat clothes with greasy hair and a big chunk of Snickers bar on her chin look sexy? Give me a break.

5.MEN LOVE TO BUY YOU G-STRINGS
Men like looking at women in G-strings, so they buy them for us as a gift, thinking we like them. We don’t. We just pretend to like them when we open the box. OK, sure, they’re fine to wear for ten minutes when making an entrance into a bedroom right before you make love. But they’re useless for anything else. Have you ever tried to clean your house while wearing a G-string? You reach for a dust bunny under the bed and, whoa! The
string suddenly gooses you in ways you don’t want to be goosed. How about sitting on a vinyl car seat on a hot day? Or you’re wearing your G-string and, surprise, a gust of wind blows your dress up? Hello!

6. MEN LIKE A MOVIE TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE NAKED WOMAN IN IT
You reluctantly agree to go to a “guy” movie with your guy. Bruce Willis, who just won’t Die Hard. Suddenly there’s a woman in the movie, wearing almost no clothes. Why do men need this? In the hour and a half that you’ve been in the theater, have they forgotten what a naked woman looks like? Do they need a constant reminder?

7.NOSE HAIRS
Why do men grow nose hairs? Women don’t. It’s so mysterious. They even have special machines, like tiny Roto-Rooters, that you can buy for them through catalogs. A man gets very embarrassed if you mention that he has a wild stray hair.

8.MEN COULD SLEEP ALL DAY..AND STILL COMPLAIN!
Its totally unfair when on holidays they get to sleep all day, wake up and still complain about the food, what he wants to wear, what movie he doesn,t have with him, the noise which the neighbour carpenter makes, the heat (if its a sunny day), or the cold (if its a rainy day)...etc etc..I could go on like this forever..

9.A MAN WILL HOG A WHOLE DESSERT
When women eat together in a restaurant, it doesn’t matter how many there are—2, 6, 20—they will order a single dessert. And 20 forks. Then, not wanting to look like pigs, the women will divide the dessert evenly, leaving one last bite that no one will touch. A man, on the other hand, will just start chowing down on the dessert as soon as it’s set on the table. And you’d better grab a fork and dive in or you won’t get any, because a man will actually eat a whole dessert—including the last bite!

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