1. that's not right - sum ting wong
2. are you harbouring a fugitive? - hu yu hai ding
3. see me asap - kum hia nao
4. stupid man- dum fuk
5. small horse - tai ni po ni
6. did you go to the beach? - wai yu so tan
7. i bumped into a coffee table - ai bang mai fa kin ni
8. i think you need a face lift - chin tu fat
9. it's very dark in here - wao so dim
10. thought you were on a diet - wai yu mun ching
11. this is a tow away zone - no pah king
12. our meeting is scheduled for next week - wai yu kum nao
13. staying out of sight - lei ying lo
14. he's cleaning his automobile - wa shing ka
15. your body odour is offensive - yu stin ki pu
16. great - fa kin su pah
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Marriage
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:"Husband Wanted".Next day she received a hundred lettersThey all said the same thing:"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Then there was a woman who said,"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life, thinking they had no faults at all.
A Woman's Prayer:Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:"Husband Wanted".Next day she received a hundred lettersThey all said the same thing:"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Then there was a woman who said,"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life, thinking they had no faults at all.
A Woman's Prayer:Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Restroom Study
A PSYCHOLOGICAL STUDY OF TYPES OF MEN IN THE REST ROOM
EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss, if he has to or not.
NOSEY: Looks into urinal to see how other guy is fixed.
CROSSEYED: Looks into urinal to the left, pisses into one in the middle, flushes the one on the left.
TIMID: Cannot urinate if someone is watching. Flushes urinal as if he had gone, sneaks back later.
INDIFFERENT: All urinals are being used, he pisses in sink.
CLEVER: No hands, shows off by fixing tie, looks around, pisses on the floor.
WORRIED: Is not sure of what he has been doing lately, makes quick inspection.
FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up and down urinal, tries to hit fly.
ABSENT MINDED: Opens vest, pulls on tie, pisses in pants.
DISGUSTED: Stands for awhile, gives up, walks away.
SNEAK: Farts silently while leaking, acts innocent, hopes that the man in the next stall will be blamed.
CHILDISH: Leaks directly into urinal bottom, likes to see the bubbles.
PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time, reads newspaper with his other hand.
EFFICIENT: Waits till he has to take a crap, then does both.
TOUGH: Bangs dong against urinal to dry it off.
FAT: Has to stand back to take a long blind shot at urinal, misses and pisses in shoe.
LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in urinal, drowns.
DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
WITHDRAWN: Places feet in urinal, pisses down leg, thus eliminating noise.
IMPATIENT: Always in a hurry, pisses down back of guy using urinal in front of him.
EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss, if he has to or not.
NOSEY: Looks into urinal to see how other guy is fixed.
CROSSEYED: Looks into urinal to the left, pisses into one in the middle, flushes the one on the left.
TIMID: Cannot urinate if someone is watching. Flushes urinal as if he had gone, sneaks back later.
INDIFFERENT: All urinals are being used, he pisses in sink.
CLEVER: No hands, shows off by fixing tie, looks around, pisses on the floor.
WORRIED: Is not sure of what he has been doing lately, makes quick inspection.
FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up and down urinal, tries to hit fly.
ABSENT MINDED: Opens vest, pulls on tie, pisses in pants.
DISGUSTED: Stands for awhile, gives up, walks away.
SNEAK: Farts silently while leaking, acts innocent, hopes that the man in the next stall will be blamed.
CHILDISH: Leaks directly into urinal bottom, likes to see the bubbles.
PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time, reads newspaper with his other hand.
EFFICIENT: Waits till he has to take a crap, then does both.
TOUGH: Bangs dong against urinal to dry it off.
FAT: Has to stand back to take a long blind shot at urinal, misses and pisses in shoe.
LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in urinal, drowns.
DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
WITHDRAWN: Places feet in urinal, pisses down leg, thus eliminating noise.
IMPATIENT: Always in a hurry, pisses down back of guy using urinal in front of him.
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