Top 10 things..........

The top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day

10. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for boobs too.
09. Immediately go shopping.............
08. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
07. Get picked up in a café in less than 10 minutes.
06. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
05. Make sure to use 100% protection, in order to avoid ending up being pregnant
04. Finally feel what it is like to live in a dump
03. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
02. Have the certain urge to clean up any place u come across.
01. Never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.

The top ten things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day

10. get a better paid Job.
9. Finally hits you where you feel, this is the look where they see when you are talking to a woman, and picturing her naked.
8. Feel what it’s so great when u whistle or try a line to a girl who u just ran into.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. U don’t shave…..and nobody notices!
5. find out what its like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. touch/shift yourself in public without thought to how improper it may seem.
3. jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a mans eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Finally gets to spend a day without being pathetically emotional.

The Difference between Men And Women....

Question - What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Lotus and a Boat").

WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: ----Shit----

Abnormal Kit Kat bars

A few questions you might take the time to ponder.

1. Can you cry under water?
2. Why are you "in" a movie, but you're "on" TV?
3. Since bread is square, then why is most sandwich meat round?
4. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
5. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
6. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
7. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
8. Do cows have calf muscles?
9. Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
10. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
11. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
12. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
13. Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?
14. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
15. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Memories

Been a while since ive had time to scribble on sumthin here. Just been a bit busy and watever. Anyway, a lot has hapnd since. Yea..my "Birthday"...now to get to my point...i just wanted to thank u guyz (poisonivy and senario) for the great time we had on that nite. I mean the food, the fun with the "book"...was really fun and i wasnt expectin any of it this year.
But it went out real good, in fact, i had surprise party from my office guys as well. N i really thank thank them too, coz it realy surprised me (seriously)...i thought we were watchin a movy and all of a sudden we had to go for a coffee ..and next thing i knew, i was in my surprise party at Seahouse!...had a great time with cake and PRESENTS...wel...was a great birthday this year..thanx to all my frends. I just wanted to remind my pals of the great birthdays i had through these past years. They all were great.And the greatest of all was we hangin out together plus...the "CARD"..i knoww. It was a tradition within us that we receive a card from the rest of us on our birthdays. i wud like u guys to take a luk at them and remind u of how stupid we were.kekeke PS. They are extra large sized cards (which makes them special).And thank u poisonIvy for all the hard work u did for all of us, although we gav u a very "pretty" card on ur birthday!