poor thing was horrified and tryin to click the "no" button..kekekekekek!!
Lemon and Yeast Facial
1-2 tsp active dry yeast*
1 Tbsp lemon juice
Mix active dry yeast with lemon juice until it forms a paste. Spread on face and neck and allow to dry. Rinse off and moisturize. This facial is the best for eliminating blackheads, shrinking pores and generally making your skin glow - and it's so gentle you could do it every day!
*active dry yeast is sold in the baking section of most stores. It's best to refrigerate after opening.
Citrus Facial Scrub
1/2 grapefruit or orange
1 Tbsp sugar
Take half of a grapefruit or orange, dip it in the sugar, and gently rub on your face in a circular motion, avoiding the eye area. Let your skin dry, then rinse and moisturize.
Pineapple Pickup
1 slice pineapple
Warm water
Dip a washcloth in warm water and hold it to your face and neck for about a minute. Then rub the pineapple slice on your skin. Let your skin dry, then rinse with more warm water and moisturize. Tip: you can also use the rinds from a fresh pineapple!
Fruit Facial
1/4 avocado* or 1/8 papaya** or 2-3 strawberries***
Mash fruit with a fork. Apply to your face and neck. You will probably want to lay down with a towel under your head, as this mask does not dry on your skin. Rest for 5-20 minutes (the longer the better), rinse and moisturize.
Don't know what to do with those overripe bananas? Mash 1/3 of a banana that you weren't going to eat anyway, mix it with a little milk or yogurt or sour cream and apply to your skin as directed above.
For other variations on this home spa treatment, mix an egg or yogurt with the mashed fruit.
*avocado is an excellent treatment for dry, mature or dehydrated skin
**papaya enzymes are excellent for normal, oily, or combination skin
***good for all skin types - the strawberry mask tingles a bit, this is normal
Pumpkin Facial
1 Tbsp canned pumpkin (if you have fresh cooked pumpkin or raw pulp use that instead)
1 tsp honey
1 tsp lemon juice
Mix ingredients and apply to face and neck. Let sit for 10-20 minutes then rinse with warm water. You can turn this recipe into a scrub by adding 1 tsp granulated sugar. Pumpkin is rich in vitamin A which is great for the skin!
Avocado Eye Treatment
2 slices avocado
Place an avocado slice under each eye. Rest for 10-15 minutes, remove and rinse. This eye treatment reduces puffiness and it also nourishes and moisturizes the delicate undereye area.
Cucumber Eye Treatment
2 slices cucumber
Place a cucumber slice on each eye. Rest for 10-15 minutes, remove and rinse if desired. Cucumber is very soothing, mildly astringent and skin-tightening.
Lemon Water Toner
1 Tbsp lemon juice
2-3 Tbsp spring water
Mix lemon and water and apply to face with a cotton ball, avoiding the eyes. A great toner for oily skin in particular. You can make this in advance, and store in a spray bottle in the refrigerator for ease of use. Lemon water toner keeps for about a week.
Cucumber Toner
1 Tbsp minced or grated cucumber
2-3 Tbsp water
Mix cucumber and water and apply to face with a cotton ball, avoiding the eyes. A great toner for all skin types! You can make this in advance, and store in a spray bottle in the refrigerator for ease of use. Cucumber water toner keeps for about 4 days.
Tip: to simplify this recipe even further, just take 2-3 slices of fresh cucumber, rub the slices on your face and neck, leave on for 5-10 minutes and rinse if desired. Korea and Vietnam tells fresh cucumber is widely used in their countries for all its amazing benefits to the skin.
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
5. It s not her fault when she scores higher while you both play games..It comes naturally
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.
8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by men.
9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?
10. Keep complaining about how long your girlfriend takes to get ready, you'll soon find yourself complaining how careless she has become.
1.MEN LOOK CUTE RIGHT WHEN THEY WAKE UP
This is completely unfair. When a guy wakes up, his hair’s a little messy and he has that slight stubble that the models always have. Women, on the other hand, look like hell. Once, after a really great date, we woke to find a false eyelash sticking out of my nose. Best to wake up first, run into the bathroom, apply makeup, reshave all body parts, and put hot rollers in your hair. Then sneak back into bed and pretend to wake up when he does, at which point you laugh girlishly, being very careful not to get lipstick on your teeth.
2.SMALL PENISES
I’ve heard there are women who like penises small. I’ve never met a woman who does. Let’s be honest: The reason we have sex with men is because of the penis. No woman is going to prefer one she’s not even sure is there. And polite sexual etiquette does not allow you to ask, “Is that your penis, or were you eating a pickle spear in bed?”
3.LARGE PENISES
Men with large penises think they can get away with anything. Not calling. Dating other women. Burping in public. Expecting you to do their laundry. Forgetting to buy you a Groundhog Day present. They just think they’re God’s gift to women. Unfortunately, they are.
4.MEN SUDDENLY BECOME SEX-STARVED
This is a time when men can really be pigs. They tell you you’re sexy and you know they’re just lying to get you into bed. I mean, how could anyone in sweat clothes with greasy hair and a big chunk of Snickers bar on her chin look sexy? Give me a break.
5.MEN LOVE TO BUY YOU G-STRINGS
Men like looking at women in G-strings, so they buy them for us as a gift, thinking we like them. We don’t. We just pretend to like them when we open the box. OK, sure, they’re fine to wear for ten minutes when making an entrance into a bedroom right before you make love. But they’re useless for anything else. Have you ever tried to clean your house while wearing a G-string? You reach for a dust bunny under the bed and, whoa! The
string suddenly gooses you in ways you don’t want to be goosed. How about sitting on a vinyl car seat on a hot day? Or you’re wearing your G-string and, surprise, a gust of wind blows your dress up? Hello!
6. MEN LIKE A MOVIE TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE NAKED WOMAN IN IT
You reluctantly agree to go to a “guy” movie with your guy. Bruce Willis, who just won’t Die Hard. Suddenly there’s a woman in the movie, wearing almost no clothes. Why do men need this? In the hour and a half that you’ve been in the theater, have they forgotten what a naked woman looks like? Do they need a constant reminder?
7.NOSE HAIRS
Why do men grow nose hairs? Women don’t. It’s so mysterious. They even have special machines, like tiny Roto-Rooters, that you can buy for them through catalogs. A man gets very embarrassed if you mention that he has a wild stray hair.
8.MEN COULD SLEEP ALL DAY..AND STILL COMPLAIN!
Its totally unfair when on holidays they get to sleep all day, wake up and still complain about the food, what he wants to wear, what movie he doesn,t have with him, the noise which the neighbour carpenter makes, the heat (if its a sunny day), or the cold (if its a rainy day)...etc etc..I could go on like this forever..
9.A MAN WILL HOG A WHOLE DESSERT
When women eat together in a restaurant, it doesn’t matter how many there are—2, 6, 20—they will order a single dessert. And 20 forks. Then, not wanting to look like pigs, the women will divide the dessert evenly, leaving one last bite that no one will touch. A man, on the other hand, will just start chowing down on the dessert as soon as it’s set on the table. And you’d better grab a fork and dive in or you won’t get any, because a man will actually eat a whole dessert—including the last bite!
You can tell how well a man will treat you simply by looking at his hair. A balding man is just so grateful to go out with you, he will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. A man with gorgeous hair will be a jerk. Take Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall. OK, sure, that was just a character, but you know a guy with hair that beautiful is going to be a bad-news boyfriend. He’ll cheat on you, he’ll steal your conditioner. Best to go for the bald.
2.MOST MEN FEEL PRESSURED TO BUY YOU STUFF ON MAJOR HOLIDAYS
This is fabulous, except they sometimes forget a major holiday is coming up. So it’s your job to remind them. The anniversary of the first time you made love, and the anniversary of the first time he let you be in charge of the remote control. Also, it’s very important to have your gift picked out in advance; otherwise, you’re likely to get a blender or a G-string.
3.IN A RESTAURANT, MEN GO TO THE BATHROOM ALONE
Women go to the bathroom in pairs. If men went in pairs, you would wonder what they were doing in there so long. You would get paranoid. Are they talking about me? Are they rebuilding a carburetor? Are they assembling a stereo? Have they left through the bathroom window? This must be how men feel when women go, and explains why they are so insecure.
4.YOU’VE GOT A GUARANTEED DATE ON NEW YEAR’S EVE
No matter how much you want to break up with your boyfriend—even if you have to go visit him in prison—on New Year’s Eve he’d better be your date, damn it! Women do not like to be alone on New Year’s Eve. They will do anything to avoid it. I had a girlfriend who hadn’t hooked a date for the big night and was completely panicked. A guy called her up, thinking her number was the line for Domino’s Pizza, and ordered a pep-peroni with extra cheese. She delivered the pizza, they ate it, and then made mad, passionate love in his tollbooth.
5.IT’S EASY TO KNOW A MAN’S FEELINGS
Want to find out if a man really loves you? Ask him to go clothes shopping with you. Men like shopping for women’s clothes as much as they like having red-hot needles stuck in their eyes. If he’s willing to go and sits patiently while you model 14 different outfits, he really loves you. If he hits on the salesgirl while you’re in the dressing room, he doesn’t.
6.THEY CAN DO MANUAL LABOR
Men can take out garbage cans, lift sofas, and change tires. Jobs you wouldn’t want to do in a million years. Jobs that, if you absolutely had to do them, would make you cry. To get men to do these jobs, all you have to do is whine.
7.YOU CAN WEAR THEIR UNDERWEAR
Boxer shorts are amazing. They’re big, they’re baggy, most men look adorable in them, and they are wonderful to borrow. You can sleep in them, lounge around the house in them, and with a cute T-shirt and the right shoes, you can even wear boxers out to breakfast! A word of caution: Don’t borrow their jockey shorts. Jockey shorts are just too weird. They have that extra pocket in the front—what is that for? Change? Their car keys? Plus, what if, God forbid, his jockey shorts are too tight for you? This would mean that your butt is bigger than his—and is there a more depressing thought?
8.MEN AREN’T DUMB ENOUGH TO BE PROFESSIONAL CHEERLEADERS
Every professional sports team has cheerleaders. Women who run around in skimpy costumes, who follow the team from city to city, who spend hours practicing dorky routines, and who get paid almost nothing. Is this a career? Why do they do it? So they can marry one of the players and never have to work again?
9.MEN DON’T GET PERIODS
As frustrating as men can be, can you imagine what they would be like if they got periods? If you had to deal with them bragging about their gas mileage and crying because their oil needed to be changed? What if you found them hiding in the closet, reading Sports Illustrated while chugging a pint of Haagen-Dazs? Maybe it’s good they’re insensitive.
