Ad For Men

A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN That's right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man.
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR Schedule (1):
101 - Combating Stupidity
102 - You Too Can Do Housework
103 - Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
104 - We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings

Schedule (2):
110 - Wonderful Laundry Techniques
111 - Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4AM
112 - Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
113 - Get a Life; Learn to Cook

Schedule (3):
120 - How NOT to ACT Like an Ass When You're Wrong
121 - Understanding Your Incompetence
122 - At times, YOU, the Weaker Sex
123 - Reasons To Give Flowers

SECOND YEAR Schedule (4):
SEX101 - You Can Fall Asleep Without It
SEX102 - Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Then Take a Shower
SEX201 - How to Stay Awake After Sex
202 - How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

Schedule (5):
210 - The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
211 - How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children
212 - You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
213 - Honest - You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise, Especially Naked

Schedule (6):
220 - Omitting "@#%&*@" From Your Vocabulary
221 - Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is NOT Necessary
222 - Real Men Ask for Directions
223 - Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay